Monday, November 28, 2005

::::venting about work::::

Nowadays it seems there are so many rules...is it a violation of company policy to vent frustration on an online blog? Iounno...just wanna get some things off my chest...Okay, when I was hired @ Target, it was just as a cashier...quickly was promoted to Cash Office Specialist and things seemed good...now it seems I am in a rut...whereas before, my performance was praised, after I complained about the hours I was being scheduled (supposed to get at least 30, and I was being scheduled 20 or less, but being asked to stay late, then being reprimanded for getting overtime) now it seems I am just barely hanging on...though they are giving me over 30 hours a week, but I think that is only because they promoted someone from the sales floor to Cash Office Specialist to replace the girl that got fired...they knew I would have a lawsuit if she got 40 hours after the store manager told me that it was virtually impossible for me to get 40 hours...had a conversation, if you could call it that, with the store manager--he did all the talking, I barely got a word in...but it wasn't very productive...I don't like to be talked at and I don't like to be called a liar...I mentioned that in my previous work experience, though it is not the norm, I was always able to get 40 hours a week. I know what I received in hours and I know what I earned...So, now I don't even want to talk to him about any other concerns I may have. The main problem I have with where I work is that they will ask to work over and then want to penalize me for getting overtime...Prime example: a GSTL didn't show up, so I was asked to front the morning advances to the lanes. That turned into me being the GSTL until the mid-shift GSTL showed up. That wasn't until 3:30pm. So, I get to take my lunch when the mid-shift GSTL takes the front @3:35pm. I was scheduled to leave @ four, but I couldn't b/c I still had to process the day in the cash office. I didn't clock out until after 7:30pm. I took a long lunch b/c I knew they'd bitch about overtime. The next two days I left earlier then I was scheduled to, but I still got some overtime...I don't feel that I should've been reprimanded about it. They should've been glad to have me cover the lanes since they act like I was the only one who could do it. Then the week of Thanksgiving the ETL-OPS tells me that M-W I was only gonna work in the Cash Office b/c Friday & Saturday were gonna be my long days. Friday there were two of us in the CO, but the other left early around noon, which left me to process the skims all by myself, so I didn't leave until after 4pm. Saturday two were scheduled in the Cash Office, but the other didn't enter the CO, so I was left to process the day, with its high cash volume, all by myself--of course it was going to be a long day! Got overtime again and the ETL-OPS wrote me up. I don't feel that I should have been penalized. The money had to be processed.

::::iounno::::

While I wait for a response from my credit union...I don't know what is the deal...for so long I was deliberately celibate...didn't wanna go through the whole dating scene, wasn't ready to have to deal with someone else and their "idiosyncratic bullshit," to quote from "My Best Friend's Wedding." So, when I finally decided that I'd like to have some male companionship, it fell into that whole line of thinking...with a married man, there is no chance of getting serious...it cannot be more than a fling...no worries of commitment, etc. And, the other guys I have picked are also not potential husbands...it is like I am deliberately sabotaging my chance at happiness and marital bliss by dating men who are not...what are the words I am searching for? It then begs the question do I really want to have marital bliss? Yes, I do, but just not now...I am scared and I'm nervous-don't wanna be hurt anymore, to quote Mariah, just looking for a man that'll love me slow, make me sing real high when he goes down low, but it ain't just a physical thang, he's gotta treat me affectionately...gotta know he won't betray my trust just like every other motherfucker does...

Sunday, November 27, 2005

:::::Thanksgiving::::

Somehow, I've forgotten passwords to important things...maybe it's because I've not logged on to the internet in so long. So, I thought I'd post something...Got through another Thanksgiving. This was the first one that I hadn't felt so weepy and despondent, had felt guilt-ridden or melancholy over my mother's death...Went to Ricky's mother's house...And, yes Dad! I contributed by buying her what she asked me to: canned sweet potatoes, potatoes, butter, drinks, aluminum pans, mayonnaise, mustard, ...forgot whatelse, and a ham. Spent about $70, so I did good. The ham was about $30, so that was really good for its size. We didn't get back to Houston until almost 2 am, which was bad b/c I had to be at work at 5 am. Clocked in at 5:03 am. No one noticed...it was all good.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

~*~Wish I really were~*~

My little sissy poo dubbed me her "coolest" sister on her xanga blog. Hence, the title of mine, but, for the most part, I don't feel that way. Maybe it is because I've made quite a few mistakes in my life that have me struggling in so many ways now. I want to get to a point where I can have my younger sibs visit me like they do my brother Floyd. I want to be able to send gifts on birthdays and Christmas and just for no reason. I really just want to be able to do more than the occasional telephone conversation.

Lookup a word or passage in the Bible



BibleGateway.com
Include this form on your page