::::iounno::::
While I wait for a response from my credit union...I don't know what is the deal...for so long I was deliberately celibate...didn't wanna go through the whole dating scene, wasn't ready to have to deal with someone else and their "idiosyncratic bullshit," to quote from "My Best Friend's Wedding." So, when I finally decided that I'd like to have some male companionship, it fell into that whole line of thinking...with a married man, there is no chance of getting serious...it cannot be more than a fling...no worries of commitment, etc. And, the other guys I have picked are also not potential husbands...it is like I am deliberately sabotaging my chance at happiness and marital bliss by dating men who are not...what are the words I am searching for? It then begs the question do I really want to have marital bliss? Yes, I do, but just not now...I am scared and I'm nervous-don't wanna be hurt anymore, to quote Mariah, just looking for a man that'll love me slow, make me sing real high when he goes down low, but it ain't just a physical thang, he's gotta treat me affectionately...gotta know he won't betray my trust just like every other motherfucker does...
posted by :::::::::::::kimya:::::::::::::::: @ 5:52 PM
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